Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Relationship Bank Account
Over the past week, what deposits did you make in the bank accounts of your Link freshmen, transfer students, leaders, family, and friends? Please detail who you made the deposits with and the outcome. How did you feel? How did they feel? Please complete this blog response by 7:30a.m. on September 15th, 2011.
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Over the past week I have deposited into the lives around me a number of times. A great deposit that I was able to make was the Varsity Football Tailgate,I was able to personally invite my freshmen to come. By personally inviting them I was able to show them that I really do care about them and will be able to support them throughout the year. It was also good to personally invite them because it gave them a sense of belonging and that they were important. Another deposit that I made this week was the Tailgate on Friday afternoon. During the tailgate I was able to talk to some of my freshmen that were there and dig deeper into their lives. Texting has been another deposit that I have made this past week. I have made it a priority to try to contact my kids and see how they are doing, and although not all text me back just them seeing that I have tried can make a big difference. Freshmen are not the only people that I have deposited in this week, I have made a conscience effort to make deposits in the lives of everyone around me. I have done things such as random acts of kindness for either people that I don't know at all, or people that don't know that I was the one that did it. Also, I have tried to smile at everyone that I come in contact with and offer an encouraging word to as many people I can.
ReplyDeleteMaking "deposits" this past week has made me feel great. I feel like I have contributed to helping make other peoples week better. I actually do not see my link freshman at school very much. I see a few of them multiple times but others I do not see quite as much. I realized this week small deposits can mean a lot though. I personally handed one of the invites for a tailgate to one of my freshman and her friend. I smiled and we chatted for a few minutes and I could tell that just smiling made a difference in the conversation. This was last friday. Monday, and Tuesday I saw her again and she gave me a huge smile. Making the deposit of taking a few minutes to just sit and talk with my freshman made me feel great. And I know it made her feel good too.
ReplyDeleteThe other day at Starbucks I was waiting in line. The line was extra long and there was an elderly person standing behind me so I told her she could go in front of me and we just chatted a little bit. This deposit made me feel great. She honestly made my day 100* better. Making little deposits such as sitting and chatting, sending texts or leaving voice messages for people, and including others truly makes such a difference in your life and theirs.
Over the past week, I have really worked on reaching out and depositing into those who I am surrounded by, the best I could, every chance I had. I had multiple opportunities to do so in which I took advantage of. Beginning with the varsity tailgate and game. I was able to personally invite my freshmen, making them know that I care about them. I then was able to spend some time with them chatting and having a good time. However, not many of them made it, so I then texted the others through the week and checked up on how school and everything was going and making sure they knew that they could talk to me or come to me for any help. I really improved my relationships with many of my freshmen through these out reaches. I noticed that I felt great knowing that I am making an effort to get to know them and I know that whether or not they come to something or respond to a text, they at least are aware that I do care. I made many deposits into my family and friends relationships as well trying my best to follow along the six positive deposits. I found that after this week of focusing on deposits, many of my relationships improved and I felt all around better.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week, I have made deposits into many relationships. However, I have made more deposits into the relationships between my parents and I. My relationship between my parents and I has always been strong, but sometimes I "withdraw" from our relationship because I break promises and disobey them on occasion. This week, however, I decided that I was going to make promises to my parents that I knew I could keep. Everyday this week I would come home after school and call them to tell them I would finish my homework and start making dinner. The first day I succeeded in keeping this promise, my parents came home and were extremely surprised. They were pleased with me and their trust in me grew with every promise that I kept that week. I felt very good about myself because I had been helping my relationship with my parents and now they trust me a lot more and believe that when I say that I am going to do something, that I will do it. After doing this everyday this week, I feel obligated to do it everyday of my life and I believe that I will.
ReplyDeleteI made a couple of good deposits this week. At the football game on Friday a freshman was sitting alone and it did not seem as if he knew many people at the game. So another Link Leader and I invited him to come watch the game with the group of friends we were with. We introduced him to everybody and it was easy to tell that he was glad to be watching the game with us. It felt really good to be able to help someone feel a part of the Arapahoe crowd and not a single person within a large group.
ReplyDeleteAlso this week a person very close to me was very stressed out and having a rough day. I could tell this person was not feeling great the whole day, so during an off hour I wrote the person a note to let this person know how much I appreciated her. I then put the note in this person’s locker. The person later told me the note turned her entire day around! It felt amazing to help cheer this person up and allow her to let go of her stress.
This week, I made deposits into my relationships accounts on several different fronts. My first was small and yet necessary to rebuilding a bond with one of my relatives who a few months back, I stormed away from after a big argument. Although my deposit was a simple text message that said, "Hey there! I hope your school year is going well!" I originally did this because i felt it would legitimize the writing of this blog but it felt so much better than that. It occurred to me that it was not so much to who you deposit or for what reasons you deposit but that the truth is that sometimes putting in a deposit in another's account can make you feel better. For me it was a weight off my shoulders and a fresh start with my relative. Although the conversation was brief, my relatives animosity toward me had ceased and we are once again on a friendly basis.
ReplyDeleteMy other big deposit this week came almost as a surprise to me. I was walking up the stairs toward the second floor of the west wing when i saw a freshmen girl sitting on the stairs. Although I had never talked to her or seen her before, I said, "Hey there!" and smiled. As I approached her I noticed she was crying but through the tears she smiled back. The deposit, felt special. It wasn't until I got up there stairs that I thought I should ask what was wrong. She was already walking away by the time I had thought of that. In my mind, the deposit was special because I felt like maybe I had made her day and maybe I had made a difference. This deposit felt better than the first because it wasn't intentional. It was me just trying to be friendly and it turned into a deposit.
This week I really focused on "depositing" into my relationships and I was surprised at how good it made me feel as well as the other person. One specific time was with one of my freshmen. I hadn't really talked to her much since orientaiton and she hasn't responded much to my text messages. A couple days ago I saw her in the hallway and ran to catch up with her. I asked her how she has been and then I found out that she made varsity softball. I could tell when I talked to her that she was so happy and excited about it and I was really excited for her. It felt great to finally talk to her and I think it made her feel good that I was so interested in what she was doing.
ReplyDeleteAnother relationship I deposited in was with my youth group leader. I was talking to her and she suggested that we should go to lunch sometime. It felt good that she cared about me and wanted to spend time together. It definitely made me feel good and made me think to ask one of my freshmen to go to lunch sometime!
During this past week, through the deposits that I have made, I have overall been in a much more positive attitude. Not that I am not normally in a good optimistic mood, but through helping others, and really taking time to notice others do this as well, it has made me more generally happy. On Monday I saw one of my freshmen in the hall, who always appears to be keeping to herself. Out of the several times that I see her during the week in the hall, I don’t think I have ever seen her with friends or a companion. But on Monday I went beyond my regular hello to her. I changed the direction I was walking so that I could catch up with her and have a conversation. She lifted her head from starring at the ground, and quickly opened up about how her past week had been. Her glazed look turned into a smile. I hope to have more conversations with her in that context, and hopefully get to know her even better. When we walked off from talking with me, her body language was so different. Her head up, seeming as though she had a more positive outlook on the rest of her day. Just by having that three minute conversation with her, not only did she seem to benefit from it. It made the rest of my day so much better. I went to my fifth hour class with a smile on my face, not being able to hide the happiness inside. My other deposits have been a little less significant, I really have taken the time over this past week to thank people for what they do for me. It has felt good letting people know that someone does appreciate all that they do, and through a simple thank you, it has appeared to make them feel as they are doing things right. I hope to think about these deposits more in weeks to come, and add to the accounts of the people in my life.
ReplyDeleteThroughout my week, there have been many opportunities in which I am able to turn someone's day around just by one simple act of kindness. By simply texting or contacting my freshman, I have been able to extend a hand out to them; whether they choose to receive it or not. A few of my freshman are very verbal about their appreciation towards us. Every time I see one of my kids, he always is excited to see me, asking me questions about the next event link crew is putting together, and even asking me about my day before I have a chance to ask him about his. Even though I am his leader and I offer him help with anything he needs, he always returns the favor. Before the varsity tailgate, he sent me a text asking if he could help set up. It was so awesome to see that we have impacted him so much he wants to do anything he can to help us in return. This freshman has really taught me how much freshman appreciate link crew and what we do for them. Although only a few out of my twelve freshman ever respond to a call, or offer their help, I was able to see the respect they have for us through just one simple boy. Now, the kid I just described is someone who is very easy to talk to. He is very easy going and there is no trouble in communicating or getting him involved in the events we put on for the freshman. There is one kid however, who is very shy. One day I saw him at lunch and asked if he didn't have any plans, he was more than welcome to eat lunch with me. So, with only a few words spoken from him, we ate our lunch together and headed off to the library during fourth hour. He didn't have any homework to do but he simply just took a book from the shelve and sat across the table from me reading it. I hadn't thought much of this time we spent together because he doesn't seem to want to talk and he always has little emotion on his face. I didn't even know if he wanted to have eaten lunch with me. However for the next few days, every fourth hour he would find me in the library, pull up a chair, and start reading his book again. Without any words at all, I was able to see that just inviting him to spend lunch and an off hour with me one time, I was able to offer him an opportunity to eat with me whenever he felt to do so. I have also been able to put deposits in other people's lives as well. Every day of the week I have chosen one of my friends to write an encouraging letter to. I think that it is so important to build one another up and I had so much fun being able to encourage and talk to them after each one had gotten their letter. Today, Drew and I went over to an elderly couples house. They were having trouble setting up their computer so we stayed for a while, trying to figure out what cord connects to which part of the computer. Throughout this time we were able to talk to the couple and they had appreciated what we were doing for them. An hour or so later, the job was done and while leaving the house, they were asking us how much we charged. We told them that there was absolutely no charge; we just wanted to serve them out of the kindness of our hearts. The lady said that that wanted to make her tear up because she was so blessed to have us help. Throughout my week, many opportunities arose where I was able to serve others and by doing so, many positive outcomes came from each and every single act of kindness.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week, I have made plenty of deposits in the lives of many people around me. However the most powerful and meaningful deposit came in my sister’s piggy bank. Since she has left for college twice now, it feels like our relationship is becoming more and more strained. Truthfully, our relationship at one point existed of us looking at each other and trying not to confront one another about anything from who actually left the dishes on the counter or who used the other person’s bathroom. There’s something about distance that honestly makes people feel closer than ever. It’s become easier and easier to talk with her about school and baseball and even girls, yes, girls with her. I truly had no idea what kind of relationship we could have until we got past all the unnecessary junk in our lives. She’s the kind of person that will support me no matter what the decision is. I used to see her as an example of how I shouldn’t act in school or with friends, but now I see how amazing and powerful she is. It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone you love. It’s especially hard to say goodbye to someone who is not just your sister, but your friend. I’m glad we can talk like buddies again. And most of all, I am glad I have a sister like Courtney.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week I have been making deposits to students that also live in my neighborhood. I have mostly been focusing on a freshman girl who is new to colorado completely. Her mom told me she was struggling getting involved with the school and finding friends. So I have been trying my best to text her once and a while just to check up on her to make sure things are going ok. We had lunch together and talked and she seemed to be doing great. I saw her at the freshman tailgate and she said she had a blast. Couple days later we did our homework together and caught up on each others week. She seems to be getting well adjusted these past few weeks which makes me feel really good because I know how it feels to be out of place and not know anyone. I hope to keep making deposits and build a friendship with her because she is so sweet and anyone would be lucky to be friends with her.
ReplyDeleteThis past week, I have made multiple deposits into my relationships with freshmen, friends, and family. I was fortunate to be able to attend the Varsity Tailgate after school on Friday. This event helped build a relationship with one of my freshmen who showed up. We had a great conversation about how her school year was going so far. I also had the opportunity to visit with a freshman who lives in my neighborhood and who I hadn’t seen in a while. A simple conversation with these freshmen was crucial to maintaining and building my relationship with them because it showed them that I care about their high school experience. Because of this deposit, I feel closer to my freshmen and they have felt more comfortable talking to me. Another crucial deposit I made was with my friend, in order to replenish the account after a withdrawal the two of us had suffered from. The deposit consisted of communicating with my friend to see why she was upset with me and what I could do about the problem. I expressed my thoughts to her in hopes that she would be honest with me in return. My hope was fulfilled as the rest of the week ran smoothly between us. This action required trust in my friend; therefore, the relationship has become stronger. The largest and most important deposit I had made this week was with my sister. After her volleyball game on Tuesday, she was very upset and her confidence was low. I have been in the same situation before and understood how she was feeling, so my friend and I waited for her after the game and took her to Dairy Queen for some ice cream. The small act of kindness turned out to be a huge deposit. When we got home, my sister expressed to my mom how grateful she was that I had taken her home after her game; in return, I was overcome with joy at my sister’s gratitude. It was one of those moments I wished could happen more often between us. Withdrawals may happen to my relationships, but small deposits matter the most.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week I have made several positive deposits in my link kids, friends, and family relationships. I see one of my link kids everyday after school and everyday I make sure to make eye contact and smile and say hello to her. This makes me feel good inside because I have made a positive connection with her and she knows that I have not forgotten about her and that I am willing to say hello to her and take that extra step in connecting with her. I have also made positive deposits in the lives of my family as well. On Monday my mom was really tired when she got home so I offered to do the dishes for her. I know she really liked this because it gave her time to relax before going to bed and I felt quite satisfied knowing that I had made my moms day a little easier by doing a simple act.
ReplyDeleteThis past week has been extremely busy. I have noticed I haven't had many chances to just sit down and talk with people. However, we were given a few extra minutes in my public speaking class, and I went over and talked with one of my freshmen (Joe). At first I was a little nervous because I hadn't seen him in the hallways yet and hadn't talked to him face-to-face since orientation (I had only talked to him via text/cell). He had also missed several of the public speaking classes, which made talking to him sooner a little difficult. I asked him general questions at first but then realized how easy it was to continue the conversation. I realized we are not that different. He started telling me some aspects of his personal life that I would never have guessed. I am positive that the five to ten minutes I spent talking with him changed both my life and his. It really occurred to me how similar people are to each other. He has shared similar experiences and gone through similar difficulties in his life. I believe I impacted his day as well by reiterating the fact that I am there if he ever needs anyone to talk to. It also helped establish a friendship status. Rather than him feeling inferior since he is a lowerclassmen, I believe he realized that we are all people and age is really not that significant when it comes to being friends. This five to ten minutes became a huge investment in my "relationships bank account" because I have re-established the fact that his link crew leaders are there for him always as either leaders or just friends. I feel comfortable going up and talking to him now because we found experiences and interests we have in common.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week I have been making more of a conscious effort to be positive in what I say and what I do, making sure that I am making positive not negative deposits. One specific example was one day my friend and I were going to lunch and I saw a kid sitting by himself. At first I didn’t think about it that much, but I did tell my friend if there is no one outside we should go inside and sit with this kid. My friend said was, “Oh come on he is probably waiting on somebody, and what are you going to say anyways.” By that time I had already decided I was going to sit with him, and I had no clue what I was going to say. But I went up and asked if it was okay if we sat with him and he nodded, he was quiet but I just started asking him questions. I found out that he is a transfer student from Mountain Vista and he doesn’t really like Arapahoe because he doesn’t really know anybody. At this point I was glad I had decided to sit down, so I asked if he had gone to link crew and he told me that he signed up for Arapahoe on Monday the very first day of school. So my friend and I just sat and chatted with him, he was uncomfortable at first but he eased up and started laughing and smiling, and we started to get to know each other a little bit. I don’t know if I helped the transfer student out, I hope I did, but one thing that did happen was I helped my friend. As we walked away from the kid, my friend said, “Hey he was kind of cool, we should find him for lunch everyday and get to know him and then introduce him to some new people.” My positive leading action (deposit), hopefully helped a transfer student, built my relationship with my friend, and helped him become a little bit more conscious of his positive outlook.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week, the biggest deposit has been more of a group of smaller more casual ones. In the world of investing, it is proven that smaller deposits generally merit the greater yields. I've gotten coffee with one my freshmen and by coffee, I mean the flavored garbage that high school students run on. Small talk, creates bigger stigma, and bonding over coffee is always a powerful way of communication. One tends to gain powerful insight into a person's life through the small things. Another deposit made was just being available for small talk in the hallways and making sure my cool card was never up, and expression always approachable. I always feel empowered by small social interaction, and I believe that freshmen do as well. Everyone needs a guide, and freshmen need their link leaders to be that guide. I hope thats how freshmen look at us within our interactions.
ReplyDeleteOver the past week, I have deposited on an account that was just about empty. What we were talking about in class really got me thinking about how I was treating my brother even if he had already left the house. It is amazing how much a small gesture can have such a huge impact such as going over to his house and just hanging out with him. That one deposit of just showing that I cared really made our bank account flourish with a new strength that may have helped us grow closer than we ever have before. I hope that both he and I can keep making small deposits to keep this account strong.
ReplyDeleteThis past week I have enjoyed making deposits into others lives and appreciated the deposits into mine. One of the deposits I made that was awesome was that one of my freshman and I went to starbucks during one of our hours and just got to chat and become friends. I asked him if he hadmade any friends and he listed off a couple of friends names and then he said, " and your my friend of course!" with a huge smile on his face. Not gonna lie, it made me pretty darn happy, and I could tell that he appreciated our time spent together. I also got to just talk and listen to multiple freshmen whether they're in my crew or not. One of the freshman goes to my youth group and she was just sitting alone, looking quite stressed, so I went over to her and just loved on her. I asked her how life was and how high school was treating her. After our conversation she seemed a little bit happier and thankful for some love thrown her way. It made me glad to connect with the freshman and they seemed happy after our rendevous. Connecting with my family a little bit more was my goal this week. I am almost always around my sister so we have a good relationship, but my brother and I don't interact as often. I tried to encourage and show him some love even though I can't stand him sometimes. I tried to incorporate him into my life more by showing him some things that I thought he would like that I like. I don't know if he enjoyed them or not but it built my spirits a little bit more, and the relationship seemed more "open."
ReplyDeleteAs you all know, the dance is coming soon and me and my friend were talking about it and he was debating whether or not he wanted to go and I was thinking, and then said, " It's the last Homecoming dance of high school!" He kind of just laughed but I kept encouraging and asking him why not? I think it is important to ask questions with your friends. I feel like too many times these days, friendships are based off of fun. What I mean by that is that friends pick friends on the basis of how much fun they can have with them. That's not what friendship is about, it's about the relationship and trust and love. That's just a goal of mine to make more deposits that focus on loving friendships.
Over the past week I have made mainly deposits with my family and a few with friends and freshman. During the weekend I was supposed to take my freshmen girls dress shopping but something came up and i had to back out. This really upset me because a lot of the girls were looking forward to it and I feel bad for letting them down. However I am rescheduling a day for us to go to yogurt land or a movie or something fun we can all do. With my friends, I have made deposits on trying to rekindle old friendships that have died down a little bit. I am in AHS theater and there are a few people I haven't talked to since the spring musical and I have been slowly just talking to them and hanging out with them during rehearsal to try and restart the old friendships. In theater there are 2 transfer students and I have tried to get to know them a little by talking to them a little bit each day. Also a couple of my friends recently broke up and I have had to be the middle pawn and try to keep my friendship with both people separately and not the two of them as a couple. Also, one of my brothers old friends and a family friend recently started talking to me on Facebook. I was really excited to hear from him especially since he is in college now. my brother is also in college in Montana and I have been texting him more often lately so that when he comes back to visit it wont be a weird experience. My oldest brother I have been spending a lot more time with because i pick him up from ACC everyday and drive him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This has given us a ton of time to talk to each other and I am learning new things about him that I never knew and how insightful he is in the world. I hope the current deposits I am making continue, but most of all I hope that I can have more opportunities to hang out with the freshmen in my group as well as meet more transfer students
ReplyDeleteSince last weeks link class, I have really given thought to relationships in my life that need to be repaired, and new relationships that can be made, and new ones that still need caring for. In the past week I feel I have deposited into a few people's bank accounts. On two days last week I had lunch with two different freshman in my group, and talked to them about how their first year was going, and how they were doing. Afterwards we made plans to do it again sometime, and I could tell that they really enjoyed that. I talked to one of the girls in my groups good friend on Friday at the tail gate. She was telling me about the volleyball practice they had just had together and she was very worried about the girl that I had in my group. I asked her friend if she was coming to the tail gate and that is when she told me my link crew kid was in the hospital because she had broken her arm on the volleyball court that day at practice. I immediately texted her, asking if she was okay and if I could help in any way. I believe this deposited into her bank account because it showed that someone on the outside cares about her other than the usual people that are in her life.
ReplyDeleteIn the past week I have also renewed my friendships with old friends, and found again our old/new friendship. One of my best friends needed my help one night this week and so I drove out to Denver to see her and help with the boy problems she was having.
I am so ready to just live and turn off everything that connects me, except socially present situations.
Over the last week I have made many bank account deposits in many things. With my link freshman, I attended the varsity football tailgate. I saw one of my link kids there. Her name is Meagan. I went and talked to her for a while asking her how her day was and if she was excited for the game. I noticed her looking around and after we had finished our conversation she went and talked with her friends that were there and seemed to be having a really good time socializing with them and playing the games. It made me feel good to know that she is settled in and comfortable with her friends here at Arapahoe. It was reassuring to know that what I had done had helped her get involved and be happy here. To her, that little conversation and meeting meant something. I could tell that when she walked up she hadn’t seen her friends yet so it was nice for her to be able to talk to somebody she knew. I also think that she enjoyed it because I invited her there so it was nice for her to know that I really do care about her. Other bank account deposits that I made with my leaders were at the varsity tailgate. I don’t see them at school so it was nice to be able to talk to them outside of school, especially since they are my friends, particularly Madison. I had a good conversation with him and we just got to catch up. It was nice because it wasn’t talking about schoolwork or anything like that; it was just simply two friends having a conversation. It was really nice for me because I got to catch up with a good friend and I think he felt the same way too. Another deposit I made in my bank was with my family. I called my sister who goes to school at in Seattle, Washington and I see about twice a year. During the summer and Christmas. I called her this week to catch up with her and see how she was doing. Unfortunately she couldn’t answer but I left a message and she responded right away with “call me when you can J” I talked to her a little bit on the phone later in the week and I could tell that that one simple call had made her really happy. She is normally the one calling me and I know that it was special for her to see that I had called first this time because it shows her that I really do care and it lets her know how much I love her. It made me feel really good to know how happy I made her. Lastly, I made bank deposits with my friends. Over the weekend I went homecoming dress shopping with my friends and that was really fun. I haven’t been able to hang out with them in awhile and it was a lot of fun to be with them again and joking around and having a good time. I know it was fun for them too because they seemed to enjoy my presence and be happy that I was there. With all these bank deposit accounts there seems to be a common theme of connection. I have noticed just in this week that even the smallest of things can make a difference and make two people genuinely happy.
ReplyDeleteThis past Tuesday morning I did something with my dad that I have never done before. On Monday night my dad was talking to me about basketball and how it was going. My dad played college basketball and is a basketball junkie. After I told him that basketball was going well I mentioned to him that my shot wasn’t doing very well. He immediately asked me to go shoot at the gym. I agreed and as the night went on sleeping in sounded better and better instead of waking up early and going to the gym and shooting. The alarm went off on Tuesday morning and I looked at it and got out of bed. I ended up shooting with him for about an hour and agreed to the promise. I felt like it was the right thing to do since I promised him that I would do it. I feel like my dad felt great. My brother wasn’t big into basketball and I am the only sibling that kept with it and he loves every second of it. Hopefully this deposit helped with our relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe concept of making “deposits” in my relationship bank account has really changed my attitude towards the relationships in my life. I have learned that relationship accounts take a long time to successfully build up, but only a short time to deteriorate. It is like the saying, “trust takes a life time to build, but only seconds to destroy.” You must constantly work to maintain each relationship account in your life. Over the past week, I have made a special effort to contact my freshmen in a more effective manner. Instead of simply texting them reminders (which I would only get a few responses) I would call them, comment and chat them on Facebook and seek them out in the hallways. I had real conversations with them instead of awkward small talk over text message. I have noticed a difference in my relationships with them. There have been meaningful deposits in our account. There have been worthwhile deposits that have increased our trust and friendship. I now understand how important it is to constantly update all of my relationship accounts.
ReplyDelete